The Wrestling Blog’s OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings, November 4

Bow down to the new Absolute Champion, peons!
Photo via @aiwrestlingWelcome to a feature I like to call “Best in the World” rankings. They’re not traditional power rankings per se, but they’re rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it’s bottled water or something else really common. They’re rankings decided by me, and don’t you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here’s this week’s list:

1. UltraMantis Black (Last Week: Not Ranked) – Who just shows up to a show, challenges the top Champion, and wins said title in his first appearance with the company, and then shortly thereafter claiming the 24/7 Championship for his own too? (NB: He’s already lost the 24/7 one, darn) The Great and Devious One does, and don’t you ever forget that.

2. Mark Henry (Last Week: 4) – Yeah, Mark Henry ended up winning Halloween, but he also assumed control of the Maybach Music record label because who’s gonna fuck with the World’s Strongest Man? No one, and don’t you ever forget that.

3. Kana (Last Week: Not Ranked) – Kana’s Halloween costume came in a close second to Henry’s, if only because Ross is a bit cooler than KISS (even a man who prefers the music of KISS to Ross can admit such a fact of nature). Still, her Starchild makeup was on point, and the demonic contact lenses made her way, way, WAY cooler than Paul Stanley ever would or could be. Who could deny that? No one, and don’t you… eh, this gimmick’s getting old already. Still.

4. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 1) – This past week had to be a loaded one if Bryan flipping his wig and wrangling Shawn Michaels to the canvas like the hobo outlaw he is only got him to fourth place. I have a soft spot for Halloween costumes, what can I say?

5. Rachel Summerlyn (Last Week: 2) – Sitting out Halloween (overtly or publicly, that is) this year is okay for Summerlyn, who spent a good five or so years building up cred as the Queen of Halloween down in Texas. She still has infinite cool points for the time she came to a match dressed as the Cookie Monster.

6. AJ Lee (Last Week: 6) – Lee spent the weekend retweeting photos of all the young women she’s inspired that dressed up as her for Halloween. I’m a big softie, what can I say?

7. Jimmy Graham (Last Week: 5) – Jaiquawn Jarrett got crapped on a lot in his time in Philly for sucking, and that criticism was well-deserved. However, no one can blame him for allowing Graham to drag him ten yards into the end zone for a touchdown yesterday. The Juggernaut himself wasn’t stopping Graham, whom I will remind you is playing virtually on one foot, from scoring that touchdown.

8. Sam Hinkie (Last Week: Not Ranked) – The Sixers were supposed to be tanking? NO ONE TOLD HINKIE WHO HAS BUILT A JUGGERNAUT AWW YEAH BABY NO THREE GAMES ISN’T TOO SMALL A SAMPLE SIZE SHUT UP I’M BASKING OVER HERE ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIXERS TEN NINE EIGHT SEVENTY-SIXERS WOOOOOOO!

9. Burritos al Pastor (Last Week: Not Ranked) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY – I love carnitas as much as the next guy, but the al pastor version of pork might have supplanted them as my favorite kind of Mexican pig.

10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 10) – SARA DEL REY FACT: She went out for Halloween as the Invisible Woman. Her costume was so good no one noticed her.

The Wrestling Blog’s OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings, November 4

Bow down to the new Absolute Champion, peons!
Photo via @aiwrestlingWelcome to a feature I like to call “Best in the World” rankings. They’re not traditional power rankings per se, but they’re rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it’s bottled water or something else really common. They’re rankings decided by me, and don’t you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here’s this week’s list:

1. UltraMantis Black (Last Week: Not Ranked) – Who just shows up to a show, challenges the top Champion, and wins said title in his first appearance with the company, and then shortly thereafter claiming the 24/7 Championship for his own too? (NB: He’s already lost the 24/7 one, darn) The Great and Devious One does, and don’t you ever forget that.

2. Mark Henry (Last Week: 4) – Yeah, Mark Henry ended up winning Halloween, but he also assumed control of the Maybach Music record label because who’s gonna fuck with the World’s Strongest Man? No one, and don’t you ever forget that.

3. Kana (Last Week: Not Ranked) – Kana’s Halloween costume came in a close second to Henry’s, if only because Ross is a bit cooler than KISS (even a man who prefers the music of KISS to Ross can admit such a fact of nature). Still, her Starchild makeup was on point, and the demonic contact lenses made her way, way, WAY cooler than Paul Stanley ever would or could be. Who could deny that? No one, and don’t you… eh, this gimmick’s getting old already. Still.

4. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 1) – This past week had to be a loaded one if Bryan flipping his wig and wrangling Shawn Michaels to the canvas like the hobo outlaw he is only got him to fourth place. I have a soft spot for Halloween costumes, what can I say?

5. Rachel Summerlyn (Last Week: 2) – Sitting out Halloween (overtly or publicly, that is) this year is okay for Summerlyn, who spent a good five or so years building up cred as the Queen of Halloween down in Texas. She still has infinite cool points for the time she came to a match dressed as the Cookie Monster.

6. AJ Lee (Last Week: 6) – Lee spent the weekend retweeting photos of all the young women she’s inspired that dressed up as her for Halloween. I’m a big softie, what can I say?

7. Jimmy Graham (Last Week: 5) – Jaiquawn Jarrett got crapped on a lot in his time in Philly for sucking, and that criticism was well-deserved. However, no one can blame him for allowing Graham to drag him ten yards into the end zone for a touchdown yesterday. The Juggernaut himself wasn’t stopping Graham, whom I will remind you is playing virtually on one foot, from scoring that touchdown.

8. Sam Hinkie (Last Week: Not Ranked) – The Sixers were supposed to be tanking? NO ONE TOLD HINKIE WHO HAS BUILT A JUGGERNAUT AWW YEAH BABY NO THREE GAMES ISN’T TOO SMALL A SAMPLE SIZE SHUT UP I’M BASKING OVER HERE ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIXERS TEN NINE EIGHT SEVENTY-SIXERS WOOOOOOO!

9. Burritos al Pastor (Last Week: Not Ranked) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY – I love carnitas as much as the next guy, but the al pastor version of pork might have supplanted them as my favorite kind of Mexican pig.

10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 10) – SARA DEL REY FACT: She went out for Halloween as the Invisible Woman. Her costume was so good no one noticed her.

The Wrestling Best in the World Rankings, October 28

Welcome to a feature I like to call “Best in the World” rankings. They’re not traditional power rankings per se, but they’re rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it’s bottled water or something else really common. They’re rankings decided by me, and don’t you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here’s this week’s list:

1. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 4) – Bryan gets points this week for proving he’s too dangerous not to be interfered with, but his best feat will always and forever be kneeing Triple H in his large nosed-face. Finally, an action we all can get behind. Except for Shawn Michaels, but that dude smells like deer droppings and raw meat anyway.

2. Rachel Summerlyn (Last Week: 2) – A quick jaunt to the past via her Instagram proves once and for all that when Halloween costumes are at stake, no one is better than Rachel F’n Summerlyn.

3. Bob Backlund (Last Week: Not Ranked) – I’m not saying Bob Backlund wouldn’t have cost Bryan the WWE Championship last night. Shenanigans in last night’s match were an inevitable signpost in the Universe, no matter what the mish-mash of cosmic outcomes in this work-a-day, multiverse governed by Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle (the scientist, not Bryan Cranston’s alter ego’s alter ego). What I am saying is that when Backlund invariably put the screws to Bryan, he would have done so with the Cross-face Chicken Wing, which is a billion times cooler than Sweet Chin Music, and the action would have led to a match instead of Michaels’ adhering to his retirement promise. I BLAME YOU, WWE UNIVERSE.

4. Mark Henry (Last Week: 8) – BALD MARK HENRY. NOT A DRILL.

5. Jimmy Graham (Last Week: Not Ranked) – The dude has the beginnings of plantar fasciitis, and he still went out and caught two touchdown passes yesterday for the Saints. Don’t let Bill Belichick’s Satanic hoodie-based voodoo shutting Graham down for one game fool you. This man is not normal.

6. AJ Lee (Last Week: 9) – My fear is that Lee’s dismissal of Brie Bella last night is only going to lead to this scene replaying, only with Lee in Hornswoggle’s spot.

7. Pork Roll (Last Week: Not Ranked) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED RANKING – Seriously, this tangy breakfast meat from the Philadelphia area should get a lot more play than scrapple and should be comparable to bacon. So. Good.

8. LuFisto (Last Week: Not Ranked) – Honestly, I’m surprised Montreal didn’t sink into the St. Lawrence River after she was done buzzsawing through Mercedes Martinez and Cheerleader Melissa (along with her partner, Sweet Cherrie).

9. The Great Pumpkin (Last Week: Not Ranked) – Thursday, if you’re studious and savvy enough to head to the pumpkin patch, The Great Pumpkin will rise up and give you toys which will be way cooler than candy. Linus van Pelt can’t be wrong, can he?

10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 10) – SARA DEL REY FACT: Wherever you go, there you are. Wherever MsChif goes, she’s still not too far away from receiving a Sara del Rey koppo kick to the face.

Jim Ross Blogs on Big E Langston’s Push & More

WWE Hall of Famer Jim Ross has published a new blog entry on JrsBarBq.com. Here are some highlights.

On WWE having 3 great hours of solid wrestling: The in ring product last night was solid and enjoyable for the most part. Any one who thinks that WWE, or any one else, can have three hours of great, TV rasslin and it all be really good needs to be drug tested. That’s not going to happen any time soon. I honestly don’t think that’s possible at this time in the business.

Dean Ambrose vs. Daniel Bryan: Ambrose vs. Bryan was a really, nice match. Bryan provided his fans ‘hope’ while Ambrose taking a clean loss gives him something to bitch about and to plot for his retribution. Great selling and near falls which are two essentials of any good, pro wrestling bout.

Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler: Orton vs. Ziggler was another good bout that Orton needed to win and Ziggler provided the ‘shine’ for that outcome. Another loss that did not destroy Dolph who has proven to me that he is one of WWE’s top talents. Many fans are growing impatient of Ziggler’s current status on the card but all he can do is continue to out perform as many of his opponents as he can on a regular basis and his time will come. That’s akin to HBK being considered only a tag team wrestler and never any thing else for years until Shawn got into one on one bouts and, over time, became a show stealer.

Comedy segment on Raw: As I wrote in my last blog, the obligatory comedy segment was what it was. I’m an old school guy and I’m of the belief that the final RAW prior to any PPV should be all about selling the PPV especially when one is selling the 2nd PPV on a monthly billing cycle. Nonetheless, Santino Marella ‘gets it’ when it comes to comedy within the genre.

Big E Langston’s push: Enjoying the opportunity that Big E Langston is getting and hope that he allows his personality to be unleashed and that E becomes a star. Very bright, athletic kid who played defensive tackle at Iowa after being a state heavyweight wrestling champion in Florida. I enjoyed working with Big E when I would make my trips to Florida in both Tampa and Orlando.

HIAC: It will be interesting to see how many titles change hands come Sunday at the HIAC PPV in Miami. I’m also curious as to what main event closes the show.

Jim Ross Blogs on WWE Championship & World Heavyweight Championship HIAC Matches

WWE Hall of Famer Jim Ross has published a new blog entry on JrsBarBq.com. Here are some highlights.

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton at HIAC: “Hopefully, Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton will establish a helluva wrestling match before they start to utilize all the gimmicks that the giant, steel structure provides. That gives the fans the best of both worlds or so it would seem to me. Logic says that the underdog wins but who knows now days…?”

John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio at HIAC: “The returning John Cena World Title Bout vs. the champion Alberto Del Rio feels a touch lost in the shuffle. Perhaps because it was made essentially out of no where or perhaps, Del Rio has little momentum, or because Cena is returning early from his surgery and he doesn’t feel as if he’s been gone that long to make his return even more special.”

WrestleMania 30 week offers: “Getting lots of offers to do a variety of things in New Orleans during WM30 week but so far I’ve declined as we’ve got other thoughts in mind at this time. Stay tuned.”