The Wrestling Blog’s OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings, September 30

DAWWW, AIN’T THEY KYOOOOOT?
Photo Credit: WWE.comWelcome to a feature I like to call “Best in the World” rankings. They’re not traditional power rankings per se, but they’re rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it’s bottled water or something else really common. They’re rankings decided by me, and don’t you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here’s this week’s list:

1. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 1) – He proposed to Brie Bella on top of a mountain this week. You insert your mountain goat jokes here, but when you do so, you’re only demeaning the awesomeness of the proposal. Also, for those of you who value looks over everything else, he gets to wake up next to Brie Bella for (theoretically) the rest of his life. My guess is the Venn Diagram between people who’d make those jokes and those who think being hot is the best quality of a woman has substantial overlap.

2. Vince Gilligan (Last Week: Not Ranked) – I didn’t watch Breaking Bad at all (not a contrarian statement of pride or credibility, just stating a fact), but I can’t really deny the man for creating a series not only so critically acclaimed but resoundingly satisfactory for its viewers. Sometimes, great art is not well-received.

3. Rachel Summerlyn (Last Week: 2) – I don’t know how close she is to recovering fully, but I hope that whatever happens, whether at Inspire Pro or even at, *gasp*, ACW, she gets to participate in some Halloween-costume related shenanigans, because her Halloween costumes are always the best.

4. @PhilKenSaban (Last Week: Not Ranked) – I try not to navel-gaze in these posts, but I gotta give props to the man who put away 21 Doritos Locos Tacos and won the overall crown (as well as the, duh, middleweight crown) in the #DoLoThroDo this year. He tied for last year’s crown with Pete Holby as well, so I think I’m safe in assuming he is the Daniel Bryan of eating fast food tacos. BEST IN THE WOOOOOOORLD (Also, dear God, THE SODIUM).

5. Buttonwood Grille’s Kennett Square Pizza (Last Week: Not Ranked) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED RANKING – Wild mushrooms, gorgonzola, and truffle oil on one pizza? Yeah, I’d like to think I had a better than decent excuse for not partaking in the #DoLoThroDo this year (Although next year, VICTORY WILL BE MINE!) (Also, dear God, THE SODIUM).

6. AJ Lee (Last Week: 7) – Honestly, I don’t know why she didn’t team up with Tamina Snuka in the first place. With her brains and Snuka’s brawn, none of those other women would stand a chance.

7. Mark Henry (Last Week: 6) – Tomorrow marks the beginning of HOSSTOBER, which is a monthlong celebration of burly professional wrestlers. The month ends with HOSSoween, which is just like Halloween except Henry goes trick or treating with your kids and splits anyone’s wig who gives out Necco wafers or apples.

8. Matt Cross (Last Week: Not Ranked) – Not only is he in possession of the most absurdly luxurious beard in pro wrestling, he is also the World Champion of Professional Wrestling. Tally ho!

9. Enzo Amore (Last Week: Not Ranked) – I heard big things, BIG THINGS, were in line for Amore, like a Cottonelle sponsorship. REALEST PRODUCT PITCH IN DA ROOM.

10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 10) – SARA DEL REY FACT: The only reason she’s not at AJ Lee’s and Tamina Snuka’s side is because she doesn’t want to show favortism to any of her trainees.